why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
*sighs* because the ‘pee’ is silent
no because it’s dead
at my 7th grade parent teacher conference, my english teacher was telling my mom how insightful my poem was about ‘my evil twin’ and how fascinating it was that at my age i could recognize the dark parts of myself but i was just talking about my twin brother he was such a dick
Google is definitely a woman, it starts suggesting things before you can even finish your sentence.
That must mean Bing is a man, tries to convince people it’s superior and does a horrible job with pleasing its user.
sassy-spoon lives up to its url
it’s a brand new day (◡‿◡✿)
and the sun is high (◡‿◡✿)
all the birds are singing (◡‿◡✿)
that you’re gonna die (⊙‿⊙✿)
how many Hogwarts students does it take to change a light-bulb?
1 Slytherin to break it
1 Gryffindor to volunteer to climb the ladder and change it
3 Hufflepuffs to hold the ladder and insure the safety of the Gryffindor student
and 1 Ravenclaw to point out that they could have just used magic
in nine seasons of supernatural sam and dean have been sick with a lot of weird shit but theyve never had the regular flu
Now I want an episode where Sam and Dean have the flu and they’re whiny little brats while hunting something and Cas is just standing in the background rolling his eyes and he makes them tomato and rice soup and now I need to stop because I want this too much